Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Intensive Care..

Today was a sad day. I went to visit my Tia Margarita. She is the oldest of all the aunts. She has been in ICU for over a month. I remember only meeting her once back in 1989. She is I think 80 something years old. She doesnt have health insurance so everything has to be paid out of pocket. They are really struggling right now to pay for all the medications and hospital care. My mom gave me $100 to give to my cousin to help. Saturday they had a "pollada" where they cook some chicken and stuff and sell it to raise money. When I gave my cousin the money she was so grateful and happy. So when I got to the hospital with my tio Benjamin and tia Gloria I saw my other cousin, Tia Margarita´s daughter I can´t remember her name right now she gave me a hug and started crying and was thanking me for the money from my mom and how much it´´s going to help. I got so sad and cried too. She was telling me how sick my aunt is and that she barely responds. It was awful.I was able to go in and see her too. They only let 4 people a day go in to see her. When i went in the nurse had me put on a jacket thing and wash my hands. It´s so different form any ICU´s Ive been in. It´s not as clean and I didnt feel like the jacket I had on was really going to protect the patients from any of my germs but that´s all they do here. When i went in to see her I just started crying because she is so tiny just like my mom and they even look alot alike. She was just laying there with her eyes closed and she had tubes in her mouth and nose. It made me so sad to see her like that. I just prayed for her and triedto talk to her but I don´t know if she even heard me. I couldn´t stay in there long because it just broke my heart. When I came back out I sat next to my cousin and she was telling me how they have so many things they need for her and what my mom gave is going to help for the month. I just felt in my heart that I should give her the money that I had in my pocket. For some reason I had put $50 in my pocket. I don´t even know why. But as I talked to her I realized why. I gave her the money and she was so grateful she cried again. It felt so good to help. I don´t have much but it really doesn´t matter to me that I won´t have alot of spending money. I´d rather help my family. I realize more everyday how much I take my life for granted. I am so grateful to be here and be humbled. It´s exactly what I needed right now.

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